Hosting a soirée is like hitting Selfridges on Christmas eve to accomplish all the festive shopping – a fun and stressful act – rewarding all the same. Most of us have busy working weeks, so when it comes to organising a dinner party for eight, a luncheon buffet for double figures or a barbecue for twenty plus, it’s as if you’ve signed up for a part-time role in Ramsey’s kitchen – but with wonderful benefits.
The main ingredient one needs for any decent shindig is guests. People are what make life worth living and good friends are a close second to oxygen.
Most of you will know the time, preparation and effort that goes into pulling off such jubilant events, and will appreciate that being a guest also requires etiquette.
Here are four don’ts when attending a friend’s bash:
How would you feel if a friend rocked up to your gathering and insulted one of your close chums, disrespected an old pal or picked fun of someone you hold dear? This is simply rude. It doesn’t matter in life if you own a lot of property, Fabergé eggs or have a healthier bank balance than most. It doesn’t matter if you think that your sense of humour allows you to make offensive remarks – what does matter is respecting your host and their friends.
If, say, you were hosting your own summer bonanza, racing around like a nymphomaniac in Ann Summers, dealing with burgers, bangers and buns – in full knowledge that your guests were given simple and accurate directions to the fridge, how said cooling device opens and where the receptacles were stored. Would you appreciate being stopped in your havies, ordered to the kitchen as one of your compadres fancies switching to a chilled glass of Sauvignon Blanc? Such vulgar behaviour will take friendship circles in the same direction as the value of the current pound.
When we host, we say: help yourself to booze, help yourself to fodder and help yourself to the lav – all three go without saying. In your own home when we invite friends over you would hope you could leave – let’s just say for argument’s sake – a small bottle of Issey Miyake Eau de Toilette on the side without your chums helping themselves because they’d run out. Asking costs nothing and shows you have manners – taking what’s not yours, what hasn’t been offered, and leaving the host without, is intrusive, impolite and a big no no.
Arriving at a friend’s gatherette with a bottle or two is like slipping into ya clean under-crackers of a morning. Imagine you were the host, some chums kindly brought Champagne, opened said fizz without offering the run-off-their-tootsies hosts so much as a sniff of the French bubbles – you might feel unappreciated, taken for granted or cheesed off that some of your mates are so thoughtless. If you bring Champers, or open the few bottles in their fridge – offer the sodding hosts a glass.
For most of us these are instinctive – but for some, sadly, not.
