Review: Bitches Ahoy!

Batten down the hatches, all hands on your AussieBums, and anchors – prudes advised to stay on dry land – aweigh.  Gareth, Max and Fat Pam set sail for a new adventure on the Mediterranean awash with a couple of love interests in close-quarters.  This is up-and-coming Playwright Martin Blackburn’s second production – an all-at-sea sequel to Aright Bitches! – and in Blackburn’s previous style: pummelled with more innuendos than a Navy Officer in the engine room after six months at sea.

Buoyant party-buoy Gareth (Ethan Chapples) is holibobing with new squeeze Drew (Chris Clynes), and giving monogamy a stern-go onboard a queer cruise afloat with two thousand homo-hotties – will either walk the plank of infidelity?  Nothing’s ever plain-sailing on this ship.

Max has embarked on a new career as a cabin boy with a firm eye in every porthole and a love/hate taste for his surroundings.  Pam (Hannah Vesty) has harpooned the Moby of all Dicks and flaunts new French fiancé Patrice (Simon Burr) from port to starboard causing a splash with the whole crew’s rudders.  Straight guy aboard a gay cruise – what could possibly come adrift?

Blackburn clearly knows how to quill a boat-rocking quip, but on this voyage, some of the jokes were washed ashore unnoticed, mainly due to the delivery.

Come aboard this vessel for cock-capers, tampon-tomfoolery and to catch a glimpse of Pam wet wiping her lady bits.  This is a camp factor 50 with the potent UVAs radiating from Vesty and Chapples  – giving you the Jolly Rogers and the January blues the heave-ho.

Published by TheGayUK Magazine

Out now until 26th February

Book: Above The Stag Theatre 

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